Good Time ft. Lil Wayne

In The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings, the season four finale and the-then last episode of Futrama, Bender contemplates the differences between irony and coincidence. The musical climax of the episode sees Bender reciting the true definition of irony in song: "The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. Now that is irony!"

Good Time, the return single of Paris Hilton who is now signed to Cash Money Records, is the kind of song that falls under the coincidental bracket. There is no intentional irony here. If the track was drenched in irony, it'd be one of the greatest comeback tunes in pop music - reviled by the majority, but for those in the know who can see and listen to the perfected trolling (i.e Kanye West's Bound 2 music video), it'd be a masterpiece of the art form.

The unfortunate case for us all is that Good Time isn't an ironic look at the factory-produced club themed tracks that are drummed into the earlobes of the defenseless public. No, my friends - not in the slightest. It's a catastrophic disaster of epic pop proportions and a defining showcase of how far following the trends of the now can take you.

Produced by Afrojack, the man famed for David Guetta and Chris Brown collaborations and who publicly questioned Paris' ability to DJ (wonder how much he got paid for this, huh?), Good Time begins with a Euro-trash sounding beat that swiftly descends into a landslide of self-destruction and it's only one second in. I'm not even fucking around with you on that one.

To add to the obnoxious beat, an ear-grinding Chipmunk-like vocal is unleashed on the already overwhelmingly horrendous mixture, which is actually Paris singing about how tipsy she is, while asking for people to not hate on her.

What the fuck is up with the shout-outs to the haters, or the assumption of people constantly hating, anyway? I like you Paris, I really do, but when you sing for me not to hate on you, my mind is inclined to think the opposite, particularly if you have accompanied your passionate plea to your haters, who are totes killin' da vibe, with this. You've put your six-inch heeled shoe deep in that pile of shit.

Regardless of how Stars Are Blind, Paris' debut single from her 2006 album, is a carbon copy of every other puppy love song of the time without an inch of sincerity, at least it had something going for it. Sure it is a tedious effort and whiffs of that same old trite stink of pop, but it is nowhere near the banality scale of Good Time. In Stars Are Blind, Paris comes across as slightly interested in her effort to talk about her paramour. As said, it isn't necessarily sincere, but it's innocent enough and a bit stupid and that's totally okay. It's not loathsome as I am sure many others have said, it's just not very good.

Good Time is another shade of Paris. Reduced to some coked-up haze, she desperately tries to convince herself of how much fun she is having, repeating the same tired lyrics over and over again which ends up feeling like the song is on an infinite loop because it's still going and will someone make it stop soon? Please? And if things couldn't get any worse, in enters Lil Wayne - the king of the feature and the ever-questionable lyricist.

"I'm fucked up/I can't tell what's, what", Lil Wayne raps; the first line in his mildly short and confusing verse where he rhymes suck and fuck together because what good would come of it if he tried to widen his vocabulary?

While Lil Wayne's fucked up quip can be associated with the track so far, it is rather fitting to what is taking place now that Paris has stepped into the background to let her Cash Money counterpart take the brief lead. He does sound fucked up - completely-off-his-balls-fucked-up - with not an inkling in his vocally-wheezing tone of how much his verse has strayed off course (and into another dimension) with the beat. I mean what the actual shit, dude? I know it is probably too much of me to ask for an inch of quality from someone who put his name on this, but man, Wayne you've never been this off point.

Mate, seriously - I'm talking to you on a level. What. The. Actual. Shit. Dude?

Through the uncomfortable sexual banter that has become a key component to Lil Wayne's back catalogue, he tries to be amusing - or something of that ilk - since his rhyming skills aren't exactly in his favour, by asking Paris, "do you speak French?" I think we have clarified since Paris has been on the media's radar that she can't speak French, so why even bother asking? Is it a rhetorical question, Lil Wayne? Was it supposed to be funny because her name is Paris? I'm pissing my pants here, buddy, you're too much for me.

Due to me being a mediocre reviewer or whatever you want to call it, I decided to cross-check my assumption that Paris is a one-language note. Unexpectedly, my encyclopaedic knowledge of the Hilton heiress is no more. According to an interview in US Magazine, she can speak French and wants to "learn more languages". Way to go, Lil Wayne. Thanks for inadvertently fucking up what could have been something remotely funny, you insufferable pillock - thanks a fucking lot. If I couldn't hate you anymore, I certainly do now.

An interlude before I carry on:

Alright, I'm good, I'm good. Let's carry on.

Despite being swamped with an unnerving - yet rightly justified - swelling of hatred right now, it doesn't change the fact that the quality of Good Time downscaled significantly into the margin of reprehensible shittiness courtesy of Lil Wayne's near twenty-line verse. Though my prayers were finally answered and Paris took the headlining spot once again, there was no turning the clock back and wishing for better and simpler times.

With that, it's safe to say that I have nothing left in me anymore. Even typing about this abysmal concentrated-shite is driving me into a maddening spiral of craziness that I feel I will never come back from, so let me draw this final curtain to a close so I can keep whatever bit of sanity I have left, shall we?

Good Time is a truely, utterly hideous abomination. If I can scramble together something slightly positive about anything - whether art or otherwise - I'll do my very best to. I can't here and I know I should feel sorry about that, but I don't. Everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves, that's right - ashamed. You heard me.

But why let this bad experience be a negative one, amiright? There is always the possibility of learning something worthwhile from a torturous moment of my life, such as this musical shamble that is continually sending wave after wave of shivers down my spine.

What did I get out of this adventure (or more appropriately titled, nightmare), do you ask? Well, if I hadn't searched up on Paris' bilingual abilities, than I wouldn't have been aware of her naturally curly hair. I think we can all collectively agree how much of a better, wiser person I am now thanks to that vital, life-altering information.

It's a hard knock life, babes.


  1. Great post, Cherokee!

    Ugh, Lil Wayne! I can't stand the guy! Thankfully, while some people may groan about how they can never stop hearing songs they dislike all over the place, I find stuff like that incredibly easy to avoid, without even trying. I just don''t bother paying attention to it, and listen to different radio channels. Granted, there are those ads that play the same damn song again and again and again (as of late, the latest season of Biggest Loser Australia used Katy Perry's Roar, and the ad played at least forty times (literally!) every day for nearly a month!).

    1. Cheers, Chris - glad you enjoyed it!

      I think there are about roughly three songs where Lil Wayne has been okay (at best), but the rest of his output has been shockingly awful...and I've tried so many times to dig the guy, as a fan of hip-hop in general. But he is the exception that I cannot make.

      You can avoid it when you want to in personal day-to-day stuff, but sometimes it is just there, being played wherever you go. It was really out of mere curiosity that I listened to this one (which I really shouldn't do in the future) and it fills me with even more pain that I had it on loop for hours just to write something about it (honest to God truth, right there)., don't get me started with that one. Winner of dullest song of the 2013, without question. A droning mess that one. And I feel you dude, I hate when songs are played on this loop because they have nothing else to add into it - for copyright reasons or whatever, don't really know.

      I've been working in retail for the last couple of months and they had about five tracks that was on the store's radio station, one of them being Royals. If I didn't hate the song then, I really do now. It's not that bad, per se, it's just not worth all the crazy adoration it has been getting. I wanted to write something about it actually, as I find it pretty ironic that it is being played everywhere, despite what it is actually about and the context of the track. Now the Grammy win kind of solidifies that for me, too.

    2. And it constant replaying even screw over great songs. A few years back, the ads for the (surprisingly good) American remake of British show Life on Mars tried and succeeded in making me sick of the titular David Bowie song for nearly a year.

    3. There is a remake for Life on Mars? Holy shit, they do get their hands on everything, don't they? But if you say it's a good'en, then I'll take your word for it. Completely agree with you, though - overplaying of a lot of things, good or otherwise, can really alter an opinion on music, films, etc.

    4. Thankfully it's not just a carbon copy (it focuses on the America of the 1970's and the stuff that went down there then, rather than Britain), so it's definitely a worthwhile watch. The ending was widely panned for explaining what was really happening, and for how it did so, but I'm sure that no-one's complained about that ever since Ashes to Ashes ended with it explaining the whole mystery.

    5. I'll check it out at some point once I've gone through a couple of shows I'm watching at the moment. I've watched bits and pieces of the original and liked it, so it'll be interesting to see how it changes things up (hopefully) in the remake. Thanks for letting me, indirectly, become aware of its existence, though!




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