Having only dabbled briefly in the world of MMORPG's with Path of Exile and World of Warcraft, Adventures in Neverwinter is an ongoing series on Can You Dig It? focusing on my quest to reach the top level in the Dungeons and Dragons inspired game. Join me as Broku, a Tiefling Hunter Ranger, on my journey to take on the forces of darkness and restore peace to the land of Neverwinter.
Throughout the first few days of grinding in Neverwinter, Sergeant Knox had been the go-to geezer and main quest giver. My first impressions of him were alright - he seemed like a decent bloke and certainly someone I wasn't going to throw it down with any time soon (that eye patch is more than enough to put anyone off).
At level 15, Sgt. Knox assigned me with the Troubled Times quest. Josef Linkletter - a colleague of Knox and also one of his besties - was having a hard time dealing with his wife, Dorothea. She had been overtaken by a demon-like spirit, and it was down to me, Broku, to deal with the problem.
I headed to the Linkletter household in Protectors Encalve, not expecting too much of a problem on the other side of the door. (I didn't really listen to anything that Knox said, which I am sure to rectify in the future.)
Little did I know that Dorothea would be the most irritating burden imaginable.
|She's got that impersonation of Cheryl from The Evil Dead on lock.|
After dealing excessive arrow blows to a cracked-out Dorothea, the wizard Rhazzad informed me that wasn't the end of the mission - I had to escort Josef's wife down a hidden sewer tunnel to a place of healing. He added that it was only a matter of time before she transformed again, making it too dangerous to take her to the Tower of Solace through the normal route.
Regardless of my reluctance to take up the task (can't Josef deal with his own marital problems?), I did what was required and headed into the sewers with Dorothea by my side; the only thought on my mind being the 6,000+ experience points that awaited my completion of the mission.
|Look at her - casually strolling without a care in the world. The nerve, man, the fucking nerve.|
As a one-woman Tiefling army, all damage dealing was down to me to handle. Dorothea went with the tactic of cowering in the middle of battle, proclaiming that she was too frightened to do anything and needed me to bottle feed her (this is also known as the pussy method).
Not going to help? Get the fuck out of the way and let the real G-unit's take the lead then.
|Great, now this is what I have to deal with after? Absolutely useless.|
A running theme seemed to be the lack of gratitude that Dorothea had for me whenever she phased into her crazy demonic form and back into her human body. She freely asked for my help whenever it saw her situation fit, and I came to her aid because that's what chill people like me do.
All I wanted from her was any kind of acknowledgement to know that I was doing an alright job, and that she was grateful for me risking my own life in order to seek a cure for her.
I never was the recipient of a simple thank you. For some reason, that didn't come as a surprise. Wonder why that is?
|Girl, your idea of thanks is pretty skewed. Work on that.|
|You're not listening to me anymore, are you?|
Finally, Dorothea and I met up with Josef. A surprise awaited us upon our arrival and for once Dorothea put into practice the home truths I had been voicing since we were stuck in the sewers, joining forces with me to take down a sea of Enforcers.
Sure, all it took for her to do anything was seeing her husband had been slapped around and captured by the Nasher rebels, but at least she actually did something. (Her arsehole factor still remained intact and our comradery was non-existent, so no changes there.)
Having overpowered herself in the fight, Dorothea ended up draining all her energy and in need of some serious aid skillz that, even if I had the ability to do such powerful magic, I'd save it for someone far more deserving.
Despite the assistance earlier, I still hoped that her laying in a crumpled heap on the ground was her perfectly timed death. Sadly, it wasn't.
|Josef ruining my selfie.|
It was a blessing to part ways with Dorothea and leave her in the hands of someone far more capable and patient to withstand her constant nagging. We've all got problems, girl, it's life - get the fuck over yourself.
|That's right, bitch - walk away.|
Time to fuck some bitches up.